After a long day, I came home to enjoy a nice dinner and catch up on what’s happening with everyone on Facebook. And there it was. Another one of “those” posts. There’s a lot going on right now in the media regarding sexual assault/sexual harassment/survivors/etc and subsequently it’s a topic people are posting about. This also happens to be a topic that is within my expertise wheelhouse; a topic which I deal with everyday at work. So when I say one of “those” posts, what I mean is that kind of post where I feel obligated to reply. A post where, because of my knowledge, I feel I have to put in my two cents because either the initial post or the threads thereafter are so off base, full of misinformation, or blatantly offensive, that I must jump in.
And usually I do. However tonight, I just can’t. I have no more energy to give, and even less tolerance if I should have to read any more myths or offensive statements about the aforementioned topics. I contemplated the feelings that came up as I fought the pull to open Facebook back up and engage in that conversation, and I realized the pressure I put on myself to always be the voice in attempting to right the wrongs.
If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you’ve encountered similar situations, if not online perhaps in person. Should I engage in this argument? This texting battle? This dialogue? My conclusion today is no. No I don’t. I can take a break. I DESERVE a break. There will be battles, discussions, and people to educate another day. Right now I choose self-compassion. It takes energy to fight the good fight. I am allowing myself time to rest and others to step forward and have their voices heard. It is not my job to educate everyone.
I share this with you in hopes that you will practice self-compassion should a similar situation arise. Take care of YOU when you feel you need it most. Tonight I’m distancing myself from anything having to do with work, drinking tea, laying under warm blankets, and cuddling with my pets as I watch TV. What are you doing to practice self-compassion?
~ Shelley Pier, LCSW
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash