Guest post by Karen Kuhlman, LSW
Remember those curvy Renaissance and Baroque beauties lounging on couches in portraits painted by da Vinci, Rubens and others? Those generously proportioned women were deemed the height of beauty by European society at the time. Fast forward 300-600 years. Now thin bodies are seen as healthy, appealing, and fit by Western culture. The premium on looking good is high. If you are overweight by current cultural standards, you are considered unhealthy, unattractive, and unfit. The challenge with this (erroneous) thinking is that thin people can be unhealthy and larger people can be healthy. All bodies deserve respect and appreciation. As we dig into the topic, we need to look at ways to improve your body image and mental health.
It is almost impossible to have a conversation about body image these days without also having a dialogue about self-esteem. The two have become virtually synonymous, even though in reality they are different. Body image and self-esteem are so closely correlated now because of the value judgments that we place on beauty and physical appearance. Unfortunately, these value judgments provide a horrible template for how to care for ourselves mentally and physically.
I have long been fascinated by the role of body imagery in written language, as well as the notion of having compassion for ourselves and our bodies. I have even written an (as yet) unpublished children’s book tackling this very topic. The story focuses on a tree and a butterfly – both symbols of beauty in very different ways. The tree is strong, rooted, grounded, and proudly takes up space. It is also happy to be of service and it can survive a very long time. The tree provides shade, oxygen, and sustenance. On the other hand, the butterfly is light, mobile, and fragile. While its life expectancy is not long, the butterfly is considered a universal symbol of beauty.
I suggest that you are better served by viewing yourself and others as strong trees versus fragile butterflies. Instead of looking at your body as merely a physical ornament to be admired, focus on what your body can accomplish, give, and provide.
Body Image Origins
Body image anxiety (or dysphoria as we in the mental health field call it) often begins at a very young age and may continue over the span of a lifetime. Images in media – on TV, in movies, in magazines, in catalogues, on billboards, etc. – generally reflect the desired social norm. Social media extends and expands this norm and is a big risk factor in developing poor body image. According to the National Eating Disorder Association, numerous correlational and experimental studies have linked exposure to the thin ideal in mass media to body dissatisfaction, internalization of the thin ideal, and disordered eating among women and men.
For example, according to researcher Linda Smolak, girls by the age of six start to express worry about their own weight and/or shape, and by the ages of 6-12, 40-60% of girls experience fear of becoming too fat. And it’s not just girls who are affected. Nearly a third of teenage boys skip meals or fast to control their weight according to researcher Dianne Neumark-Sztainer. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the forced isolation we all experienced, those numbers are thought to be even higher.
Body Image and Self-Esteem
Body image can be positive or negative. Let’s take the latter first. A negative body image invites feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, and self-criticism. If you have a negative body image, you may envision your body to be flawed, especially in comparison with others. This wreaks havoc on your self-esteem, causing feelings of depression, anxiety, and possible eating disorders.
Having a positive body image includes feeling comfortable in your own body regardless of size, feeling good about the things that your body can do and accomplish, and feeling pride in the knowledge that you are taking good care of your physical (and mental) health. None of this equates to being thin.
Related Reading: Benefits of Mindful Eating: Not Just Good for the Waistline
Even though I’ve mentioned self-esteem being affected by your body image, I actually take issue with the term “self-esteem” and rarely use it in my practice. That’s because self-esteem tends to be variable and transitory. If you feel good, your self-esteem will be high. But if you feel bad, your self-esteem will take a hit. Also, self-esteem too often is a product of self-criticism – saying you’re good or bad based on how your experiences shake out.
On the other hand, self-compassion means that you are kind and offer yourself grace regardless of what your experience was today. As pioneering Self-Compassion Warrior Dr. Kristen Neff explains, “unlike self-criticism which asks if you’re good enough, self-compassion asks, what’s good for you?” Self-compassion is about holding a kind regard for yourself regardless of whether you had a good experience with the day.
Body Image and Mental Health
Body image and body perception plays a vital role in your mental health and well-being. One of the largest thieves of your mental health when it comes to body image is comparing yourself to others. As previously mentioned, social media is a big agitator in the comparison game. Shunning these social comparisons may be the best way to improve your own body image, according to researchers Heidi Posavac and Steven Posavac.
Another way to help body image is to work on your mental fitness. Society extols the virtues of physical fitness. We know that eating foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean sources of protein, whole grains and healthy fats can improve your mood and allow your body to operate more efficiently. From a physical fitness perspective, we know that moving your body and participating in activities with your family and friends can also be mood-enhancing and add to the quality of your life, which can positively impact your mental health.
What if you took the same approach to your mental fitness, just like you take care of your physical fitness? Mental fitness allows you to become more aware of how your thoughts can impact how you feel, and ultimately, how you behave. It gives you the skills you need to become more resilient, to be more present in your life, and to thoughtfully respond to what life throws at you versus reacting to it. Mindfulness, meditation and yoga are just a few ways in which to develop your mental fitness.
Body Image Therapy
The following evidence-based interventions and body image activities may be helpful for you if you are struggling to be compassionate toward yourself and your physical form:
Correcting false assumptions, beliefs and/or thoughts
A cognitive behavioral approach encourages you to understand your thoughts and beliefs and how those influence your emotions, which, in turn, inform your actions. So if you correct your negative thinking patterns you can change your emotional state, which can then produce different outcomes. Correcting these “cognitive distortions” – distorted thinking patterns – can be an important component in healing negative body image.
Creative writing/journaling to understand the origins of your negative body image
Writing can be an invaluable tool for understanding how you formed your body image. This type of creative pursuit can also help you understand what areas of your life might need more attention or improvement.
Become more mentally fit
Strive to be more mindful and present in your daily life. Pay attention and appreciate the positive things you experience or encounter. One example could be to have every person at your dinner table share three things they are grateful for that day. Beginning mental fitness practices with your children can be an incredibly powerful, life-long gift.
Respect, appreciate and value what your body can DO and accomplish
Notice how your body serves you. Learn a new activity that has always been interesting to you and observe how your body learns and is able to do that activity. Participate in activities with family and friends, noticing what your body accomplishes. Give yourself permission to try new things, knowing that first times are scary and awkward for everyone, and that not everyone is great at everything. Learn to be self-compassionate with yourself and appreciate what your body can do rather than focus on those things with which it struggles.
If you need more help with your body image therapy may be a good option. Life Care Wellness offers a variety of mental health services for individuals and includes mental health family support, too. Please reach out to us at our Glen Ellyn, Chicago (Jefferson Park), or Sycamore offices.
Karen Kuhlman is a licensed therapist and addiction specialist at Life Care Wellness, a group psychotherapy practice in Glen Ellyn, Sycamore, and Chicago (Jefferson Park), Illinois. Karen specializes in substance use and process addictions (eating disorders, shopping, gambling etc.) and firmly believes that the greatest challenges in our lives are also our greatest opportunities for growth and healing.
