Guest post by Amrit Singh, LSW
As the end of August approaches, many students are preparing to return to school. They might feel excited and joyful – or afraid and anxious. If you’re a parent of students in the latter category you might be wondering how to help them cope with school anxiety.
Whether your child is in grade school, junior high, high school, or entering college, know that many students experience anxiety about where they may fit in or what challenges lie ahead. The new school year is an exciting time, but can also be filled with anxiety due to the fear of the unknown and the number of changes or adjustments happening in students’ lives during this time.
This school year brings a “return to normal” at school for many children and teens. That may mean a change in Covid protocol routines such as masks, testing, and social distancing at school. Even that may cause anxiety for some children.
Signs that your child is experiencing anxiety:
How do you know if your child is experiencing anxiety? Anxious children, especially younger children, tend to display physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, or difficulty sleeping that appear before the school day. Some will develop school refusal, also referred to as school anxiety disorder. They develop a fear so intense that they can’t be coaxed into the school bus or the building. If they manage to get to school, they may cry, complain of aches and pains, and can’t be consoled by the teacher.
Related Reading: Back to School Anxiety
What is normal and what is anxiety
If a child continues to complain about physical symptoms, it’s important to investigate what might be causing anxiety. It could be sign of an anxiety disorder, or another problem at school. For instance:
- A child with OCD might avoid going to school because it’s hard for them to manage their anxiety there.
- If the child has been bullied, they may be afraid to go to school because their tormenters are there.
- A child with separation anxiety might be afraid something terrible will happen to a parent if they’re apart.
- An undiagnosed learning disorder might cause a child to be avoiding shame and embarrassment.
It’s important to know that all children and teens experience anxiety sometimes. For instance, it’s normal for a teen to be worried
about taking an exam. What differentiates this normal kind of anxiety from an anxiety disorder is that the latter are characterized by worry that is prolonged, worry that is more intense or irrational, worry that is getting in the way of functioning (for example, trouble concentrating or physical sensations that lead to avoidance behavior), and consistent worry about future things that might happen or not being able to cope.
And while anxiety in younger children is characterized by worry about things external to them (e.g. monsters, something bad happening to a parent, etc.) and physical symptoms, in teens and emerging adults it’s more likely to look like perfectionism because the focus of anxiety for teens is often about themselves (e.g. how they’re perceived, how they perform, changes in their body, etc.). Teen anxiety can also be at the heart of substance use, withdrawal or isolation, sleep problems, and reassurance-seeking.
Related Reading: Child and Adolescent Therapy
How to relieve school anxiety
- If your child needs extra support to make a successful transition, let someone at school know. This can be their teacher, an aide, the school psychologist, or the school nurse. Communicate that your child is looking forward to school and is excited, but they will be much more comfortable if they can meet the teacher briefly and see the classroom before the crowded, chaotic first day, when all the other kids will be there. If possible, walk the schedule. Also, practice drop-off and pick-up locations to decrease anxiety.
- Acknowledge their feelings about the upcoming school year and remind them that, like any new activity, there is an adjustment period.
- Prepare for the next day by helping your young child prepare their outfit and supplies for school the night before. Prepared backpacks and shoes by the door is a great goal.
- Routines that give structure and opportunities for talking with your child are very important in reducing their anxiety. For example, develop an after-school routine with homework and playtime and have a consistent family meal together in the evening if possible. Also, develop a bedtime routine focused on building your child’s self-care (self-care is not a luxury). For example, read a book, meditate, and take a bath.
- Encourage your child to join a sport or social club to become involved and acclimate to the new environment.
- Assuming your child is physically healthy, you need to be firm about not allowing them to miss school. Acknowledge that they feel scared but reiterate that nervousness doesn’t mean they won’t enjoy themselves. (And excitement can feel an awful lot like nervousness!)
Related Reading: Depression and Anxiety Therapy
If you are concerned that your child may be experiencing school anxiety disorder or another problem that may be causing physical symptoms of anxiety, therapists at Life Care Wellness work with children, adolescents, and families in addressing these issues. Please reach out to us in our Glen Ellyn, Chicago (Jefferson Park), Sycamore, or Yorkville locations.
Amrit uses evidence-based modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Mindfulness with her clients. She has past experience working with kids, and now enjoys working with adults including her specialization in the geriatric population. In addition, she specializes in working through grief and terminal illness. Amrit sees clients in the Glen Ellyn office.
