September is National Suicide Prevention Month. If you’ve been affected by the suicide of a friend or loved one, you know just how deeply painful and tragic it can be. Your life is forever changed by the grief and loss. It’s been said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. So it’s important to know the warning sides of suicide and what you can do about it.
The link between suicide and mental disorders such as depression is well established in high-income countries, like ours. However, many suicides happen without the presence of depression. That is, individuals sometimes impulsively turn to suicide in moments of crisis such as financial problems, relationship problems, or chronic pain and illness.
Stigma persists surrounding mental disorders and suicide. Consequently, many people thinking of taking their own life or who have attempted suicide are not seeking help and are therefore not getting the help they need.
Warning signs can actually look like improvement in someone who has previously been depressed. People may feel a sense of peace in their decision to leave their pain by dying. This can look like the individual is feeling better. If you know someone who has been depressed and then suddenly feels better, this may be a sign to pay more attention to what is really going on with them.
Risk Factors and Warning Signs
Risk factors that increase the chance that a person may try to take their life are:
- Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, and conduct disorders
- Serious physical health conditions, particularly pain
- Traumatic brain injury
- Prolonged stress, such as harassment, bullying, or relationship problems
- Stressful life events and transitions including divorce
- Prolonged gender dysphoria
- Exposure to another person’s suicide, or to graphic or sensationalized accounts of suicide
- Advanced age
- Limited family and social relationships
Related Reading: How to Help Someone with Drug Addiction
Some behaviors that may be warning signs, especially if related to a painful event, loss or change:
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Withdrawing from activities
- Isolating from family and friends
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Giving away prized possessions
- Extreme mood swings
- Feeling emotional or physical pain are unbearable
- Feeling hopelessness and despair
- Aggression and/or displaying extremely dangerous risks
- Great guilt or shame or believing being a burden to others
- Focusing on wanting to die or researching ways to die and making a plan to die
- Sudden calm or peace after prolonged depression or anxiety
The higher the number of risk factors and the more these warning signs are present, the greater the likelihood of suicide. This is particularly true when there is also access to lethal means (e.g. firearms, drugs, etc.) and the person has either a family history of suicide or previous suicide attempts.
What You Can Do
If someone you know is exhibiting signs of potential suicide risk but is resistant to talking with you or to getting help, don’t take it personally. There are many reasons why they might not want to talk openly about what they’re going through or may not be ready to seek help.
Related Reading: My Child is Depressed-What Can I Do?
When they shut down, seem apathetic, or get irritable if you try to talk to them about your concerns, this actually may be a sign that they are struggling with a mental illness or thoughts of suicide. If you believe there is an immediate threat and that they might harm themselves, call 911.
If you’ve reached out more than once and they continue to ignore your concerns, it may be time for you to contact someone you trust for support and guidance, such as a parent, a school counselor, or a mutual friend. It is important to know that getting others involved may upset the individual at first. This is a common reaction, but it doesn’t mean it’s the wrong thing to do.
Research shows that people who are refusing help for issues like eating disorders, self-harm, or substance abuse often feel angry when someone asks their circle of friends or family members to get involved. In some cases, friendships might even end for a while. But research also shows that most people who decide to get help after their friends and family speak up are grateful that their friend was persistent in trying to help them.
When you talk with your friend or loved one, it can be helpful to have resources on hand. The new, easy-to-remember, national mental health crisis hotline is 988. Other resources include the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA), and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP).
If you’re in northern Illinois, Life Care Wellness is another resource for you or your loved one. Please reach out to us in our Glen Ellyn, Chicago (Jefferson Park), Sycamore, or Yorkville locations.
Rhonda Kelloway is the owner and principal therapist at Life Care Wellness, a group psychotherapy practice in Glen Ellyn, Sycamore, Chicago (Jefferson Park neighborhood), and Yorkville, Illinois. She is a trauma specialist utilizing a Somatic Experiencing framework to utilize the body’s wisdom in healing. She also uses EMDR and a variety of traditional psychotherapy approaches in her work. In addition to being a psychotherapist, she is a trained divorce and family mediator.
